Let me start off by introducing you to a new concept here at the Beach. For a good while now, we've taken it upon ourselves to recognize and notify those who we believe to have no soul. Unfortunately, for the sake of all mankind, this list has grown fairly large. It includes various types of people from all walks of life who just happen to be thoroughly involved in some type of life style that we genuinely feel has robbed them of their soul. So, without further ado, we begin our first installment.
You know who has no soul? Anyone who has appeared in an American Apparel ad. I can see that at one point in time, there was a niche hipster market out there that could directly relate to pseudo-sexual marketing campaign that defied the politically correct constrains of an otherwise "safe" and over-saturated corporate standard, but this late in the game, it just screams like a howl for attention by girls/guys who are about 5 years passed its relevance. I get it, enough already! You spend your days working in vintage shops around LA, and spend your nights talking about how you work in vintage shops around LA. You must need something beyond your 80's flashback stretch-pants, which only deepens the cut into my heart when I notice that you have the body of a 12-year old boy. And let's just get something out of the way, just because some sex-crazed millionaire with back hair came into your minimum wage retail job and said he'd like snap some pictures of you wearing a tacky gold lamé swimsuit, does NOT make you a "model". It makes you impressionable, insecure, and starved for attention. You, in turn, have no soul because you are lowering the possible number of human beings which we could have potentially respected or loved. You are now cemented into the archives of time as that dumb bitch who got scandalous on the back cover of Vice, and probably didn't even get paid for it. The ad should've read, "Meet soulless freak. 120 lbs of daddy issues, born right here in the heart of Los Angeles".
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